


Dropped In Oceanside

by neapeaikea



Category: Animal Kingdom (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Developing Relationship, Family Dynamics, M/M, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 14:35:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21017375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neapeaikea/pseuds/neapeaikea
Summary: Adrian is new to Oceanside and uses an app to hook up. It's a one-time thing but when he meets the guy again, maybe something bigger is waiting for them if they could only get their shit together.





	Dropped In Oceanside

**Author's Note:**

> First ever _AK_ fic, let's see how this goes... This started as a quick fic about Adrian and Deran hooking up via that app Deran uses in S2, which I know is not Grindr, but it was easier that way. Then things spiralled completely out of control, but it was so much fun to write! This is canon divergent, meaning Deran's background and activities are true to the show, but Adrian is new to Oceanside and they've never met before. As for the timeline, who the fuck knows? Like I said it's canon divergent, so some things have already happened, others haven't. Apparently Billy is a no-show in this one, but Smurf is already dead. Honestly mate, idt it's that important, plus it's hopefully explained within the fic what events have and have not transpired for the Codys yet. But like, the show itself doesn't give a fuck about an accurate timeline, why should I? ;) Anyhoo, have at it! Feedback is lovingly drooled on!

Adrian has some trouble finding the bar. He finds the street easily enough, but there’s no sign for a bar where there should be, and it’s only because some people exit from behind a wall partition and lets the noise out, that he realizes where the bar is. He feels stupid even though it’s not really his fault. Who has a bar without a sign?

When he enters the place, he decides to forgive it for the lack of signage. It’s a little rowdy, rock music playing loudly and people talking louder, but it’s cozy too. The lighting is comfortably dim, and there’s a tang in the air like people are smoking what’s now legal somewhere in here. There’s a couple of tables and chairs, but most people seem to hang at the bar or the high tables. Adrian does a cursory glance around room, but can’t find anyone glancing back or someone who looks like they’re waiting for a hookup. 

Grindr has never been his favorite, probably since he finds it easy to approach people no matter the setting or purpose, but he’s new in town and has had a crazy week. He decided to turn on the app a couple of hours ago because he could really use someone to let off steam with. He scrolled through some of the local talent and found that things looked promising for a gay man searching for some fun in Oceanside. The guy he was at the bar to meet didn’t have a picture of his whole face, but there was a picture of a stubbled jaw with long blond hair falling past it, one of a tattooed and toned arm, and best of all, a picture of a man in profile, half naked and drinking beer while sitting on a surfboard in the ocean, backlit by the sunset. Seeing as Adrian moved to Oceanside to take over a surf shop from his old buddy Tao, it’s only fitting that his first fuck in town is a surfer. 

Problem is, everyone in the bar seems to be a surfer. There are broken boards on the walls, pictures and posters from random competitions, and the TV screens are showing some surfing event. Adrian is pretty sure he’ll come to love this place. Giving the room one last glance and finding no one heading in his direction, Adrian makes his way to the bar. It isn’t so crowded that he has to push through throngs of people, but there’s still a little wait to be served. He doesn’t mind, it gives him an excuse to look around some more. 

There’s a nice mix of men and women, and while most are drinking, some are even eating. He can see the chefs working in the back, while two bartenders are pouring drinks for the thirsty crowd. Once he has his beer, he settles in, using the counter to lean on with one elbow. He looks down at himself, wonders if he should’ve made more of an effort. He has the same outfit on as everyone else, flip flops, board shorts, and a tank top hiding under a long sleeved shirt. He almost rolls his eyes at himself, of course his hookup hasn’t approached him yet, there’s nothing setting Adrian apart from the rest of the crowd. But Adrian does have most of his face on Grindr, so if the guy paid attention, he shouldn’t have trouble finding Adrian.

“Hey boss.” Adrian’s brought out of his thoughts by the bartender acknowledging the guy muscling in to the left of Adrian. 

“Roxy.” The guy nods towards Adrian, “Get this guy another one.”

“Sure.”

Adrian takes in the dirty blond hair that ends near the shoulders, the beard, and the cocky gaze that meets his. “Cameron?”

Cameron nods imperceptibly, holding up his own beer, “Adrian?”

Adrian grabs the beer Roxy’s given him and clinks it to Cameron’s before taking a sip. “Nice place.”

“It’s a dive.” Cameron says, though there’s a hint of pride in his voice. “Look, I don’t have a lot of time. You wanna go in the back?”

“Sorry, toilet sex isn’t really my thing anymore.” Adrian explains. “Had a bad experience a while back.”

“Shit, that’s rough.” Cameron says. “But, uh, I was thinking the office?”

“Office? What, you own this place or something?”

Cameron’s eyes are down near Adrian’s thigh but he moves them up to hold Adrian’s gaze as he smirks and nods. 

“Well, an offer like that is hard to refuse.” Adrian pushes off the bar counter. Cameron does the same and takes off towards a door in the back corner. 

Adrian’s had his fair share of anonymous, or near-anonymous, hookups throughout the years. It comes with moving around, being on the tour and not having a real plan for life. It also helps that he likes it rough. For some reason he’s found that the guys he actually goes on dates with like it sweeter and softer than Adrian prefers. There’s nothing wrong with eye contact and tender caresses, it just doesn’t make him as hard as someone slamming him into a wall or shoving their dick inside with barely enough prep. Based on Cameron’s look, attitude, and the way he carries himself, Adrian’s pretty damn certain he’ll get the rough tumble he’s looking for.

Cameron doesn’t disappoint, as he starts by pushing Adrian into a shelf with cases of beer and tequila. He unbuttons his shirt, reveals more tattoos than the ones that Adrian had checked out on Grindr. He tosses the shirt away, opens up the crotch of his pants too. “You okay with me blowing you?”

Adrian laughs, “Yeah, man, that’s cool.”

Already sinking to his knees, Cameron smirks up at him. He reaches for Adrian’s board shorts, pulls them down and takes the boxer-briefs with them. Adrian isn’t hard, barely excited yet, but Cameron doesn’t seem to mind. He takes Adrian’s slack dick into his mouth and starts sucking, his hand getting in on the action too. 

“Fuck.” Adrian swears under his breath. Cameron’s good at giving head, his skilled tongue making Adrian’s dick swell and harden. It’s always fifty-fifty whether a guy likes a hand in his hair but Adrian goes for it without asking, and is rewarded with Cameron moaning, his throat opening up as he takes more of Adrian inside. 

The shelves are digging into Adrian’s back, but whenever he presses against Cameron the other man shoves him back, using his hands and body to keep Adrian in place. It makes Adrian just that little bit hornier, jostling with someone for position and dominance. Cameron might be the one sucking on a dick, but he’s definitely also in charge. When his dick is finally hard all the way, Adrian begins thrusting into Cameron’s willing mouth, but it’s clear he’s allowed to do it because Cameron wants it. 

It lasts longer than Adrian expects, his hard cock sliding over Cameron’s red lips. He keeps a hand in the messy, dirty hair, tugging on it whenever Cameron lets his dick slip out. Cameron meets his eyes in challenge, then swallows Adrian down whole. Cameron’s hands mostly stay on Adrian’s hips, or the base of his dick whenever Adrian tries to catch his breath. 

“You’re fucking good at that.” Adrian lets slip into the room. The music and noise spills in clearly from the other side of the door, but it still feels quiet as only their breaths and moans fill the air. 

Cameron moans, apparently pleased at the praise. Adrian can see the tenting in Cameron’s pants, hopes he gets to see more than just a hint of a dick. He has to close his eyes when Cameron swallows around him again, making his dick jump excitedly. 

“Ah, fuck, do that again and I’m gonna come.”

Pulling off, Cameron reaches for his forgotten beer and takes a swig, “Let me know when, I don’t swallow.”

“Sure.” Adrian agrees, gasping when Cameron starts stroking him, his palm coarse around Adrian’s sensitive cock. Cameron grins at him, leaning back in. He teases Adrian, slipping his lips past the head of his dick and then off again, repeating it a couple of times before Adrian grabs his head and shoves him down. He keeps Cameron’s head in place as he fucks his mouth, thrusting his hips back and forth. True to form, Cameron allows it because he probably likes it, reaching for his own dick. For a minute or two, they let loose with their inhibitions, Adrian’s fingers tightening in Cameron’s hair and Cameron using both hands to jerk himself off with. 

“I’m close, I’m gonna come.” Adrian croaks, sounding like he’s been the one on his knees.

With a few last swipes of his tongue over Adrian’s dick, Cameron releases him from his mouth. He strokes Adrian to completion, jizz seeping out over his hand and wrist. Adrian rocks back against the shelves, using them to stay up. 

“You want me to do you?” Adrian asks, because turnaround is fair play. 

“Nah, I’m good.” Cameron isn’t lying, he has a hand back on his dick, staring up at Adrian as he jerks himself, the other hand behind himself on the curve of his ass. 

“Oh, hang on.” Adrian awkwardly makes his way to the floor, Cameron not moving from his spot which means Adrian has next to no space and is pressed up against the other man. He kinda wishes he’d taken off his tank top so he could feel Cameron’s chest against his own. 

Cameron looks hesitant, watching Adrian carefully as he holds his hands out and puts them on Cameron’s waist. 

“You’re not a kisser, huh?” Adrian asks.

Cameron turns his head away, hand stilling on his dick.

“That’s okay.” Adrian hurries to reassure. “I’ve got something else in mind.” He presses his face into Cameron’s neck, taking a deep inhale before flicking his tongue at Cameron’s sweaty skin, working around a silver necklace. He’s pleased with Cameron’s moaning, his hand back in action over his red length. 

“Promise I won’t touch you there.” Adrian says quietly, at odds with the drunken noises coming from the other side of the unlocked door. He moves his hands from Cameron’s sides slowly back towards his ass, keeping a firm pressure so that there is no mistaking where he’s going. He licks and kisses at Cameron’s neck, hoping it’ll keep Cameron hard and interested in Adrian’s touches. From the few moments they’ve spent together and how Cameron is acting, Adrian suspects he might not react terribly well to having hands on his ass, but as Adrian grabs the cheeks, strokes them, Cameron starts rocking into him, his moans getting louder. Adrian’s proud of himself, certain that Cameron rarely lets himself go like this. Sue him, Adrian’s like every other guy, always ready to exaggerate his own sexual prowess. He perhaps isn’t that far off, as Cameron slowly turns his head, making it difficult for Adrian to keep his mouth on his neck until he realizes Cameron is maybe angling for a kiss after all. 

Adrian tilts his head, nosing at Cameron’s cheek. He’d love to get a good kiss in, to feel those lips against his, feel the burn of the beard but Cameron has to be the one to initiate. Adrian lets out a wet breath against Cameron’s jaw, firmly grabbing his ass and pushing up against him.

Cameron gasps, finding Adrian’s mouth and attacking it, tongue shoving inside without any finesse or preparation. Cameron is less coordinated with kissing than giving head, or it could just be that he’s busy finding his own release. They make out angrily as Cameron jerks himself, Adrian’s hands groping his ass, the two of them on their knees and rocking into each other. Adrian’s dick twitches when Cameron finally comes, grunting against Adrian’s ear. Adrian holds him through it, hands travelling up and down a very nice back. 

Cameron pulls away the moment he stops coming, getting to his feet and grabbing his beer. He swallows a large gulp before gesturing at the door. “Uh, I’ve got a place to run, so.”

“Yeah, sure.” Adrian tries to fight off the disappointment. He knows it’s just a hookup, nothing more. Nevermind that he didn’t even get fucked, it was one hell of an intense experience. It was clear from the get-go that Cameron just wanted to get off, but it still felt like something happened when Cameron kissed him. Still, Adrian has no reason to feel like it was anything less than he wanted. He pulls his briefs and shorts back on, checks his shirt and top for stains but finds none. “Maybe I’ll see you around. I’m new in town, so.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Cameron says, lighting a cigarette that’s appeared out of nowhere. He’s still half-naked.

“Okay. Well, have a great rest of your evening.” Adrian says. 

“You too, man.” Cameron slurs around the cigarette in his mouth. 

Adrian nods lightly and heads for the door taking him out of Cameron’s life.

**

Over the next couple of weeks Adrian settles in at Oceanside. Tao, awesome dude that he is, sets him up with a room at a friend’s house, and the two employees Tao had both choose to stay on with Adrian. It helps that Adrian has met them both before, knows Rico from the circuit, and changes nothing when it comes to their paychecks, responsibilities or hours. There’s no point in Adrian stirring things up unnecessarily before he has an idea of how much money and business the surf shop pulls in. 

Tao must’ve talked him up to the clientele, because they keep coming like nothing’s changed, the locals introducing themselves and not-so-subtly asking about his plans for the shop. He doesn’t have any real changes planned, wants to become known for customizing boards and figures he can give surf lessons when he needs the extra cash. He finds out which deliveries always get messed up, what companies charge too much for services rendered, and which customers are real surfers. 

He often starts his day at the beach, getting introduced to the local surf crew by Rico and his landlord Chad. He meets a lot of people, and tries to not feel like an outsider by the way they all seem to be childhood friends. Chad’s okay, and people like Rico, Craig, Renn, and Randy make him feel welcome when they’re not sharing inside jokes and Adrian thinks he’ll fit in well in Oceanside. 

One night as they’re closing up the shop, Rico says they’re all meeting up at Craig’s brother’s bar, which sounds good to Adrian. He hasn’t really been out since the night he hooked up with Cameron. Even if things are going better than he feared, it’s still exhausting learning the ins and outs of a new town, meeting new people and trying to navigate owning a small business, and Adrian’s mostly been staying home to watch stupid videos on YouTube before conking out. 

Rico drives them over, and Adrian’s new enough in town to not recognize where they are until Rico parks. 

“’Bout time we took you to Deran’s bar.” Rico says, unbuckling his seatbelt, “It’s a total dive, but it’s become like a second home to us since he opened it.”

Adrian jumps out of the car, leans back in to push his seat forward so Neve, his other employee, can climb out from the back.

“You met Deran yet? He’s gay too, maybe you’ll hit it off.” Rico says. 

“Rico! Fucking idiot.” Neve slaps the back of Rico’s head. “Just ‘cos two guys are gay don’t mean they have to like each other.” 

“Ow, dude, I’m just saying.” Rico mutters, reaching with his hands as if to slap her back but not going through with it. “Beer is cheap, the floor’s almost clean, fire pit’s in the back. Stay away from the food though, I’ve heard stories.”

They enter the bar and are quickly waved over by Craig. He greets them all with friendly backslaps and hands Adrian the beer he might’ve already started drinking. Craig’s a fun dude, but he seems easily distracted at the best of times. They’ve smoked up together a few times by now, and Adrian knows the tells, can figure out when Craig’s on something more than just weed. Tonight seems to be one of those times, but Adrian figures ‘fuck it’ and drinks from Craig’s bottle.

They end up in the back, which Adrian hadn’t had time to see last time he was here, and circle around a fire pit in a parade of rickety chairs. 

“I told Deran to take the night off.” Craig says to Rico, “He’s been no fun lately.”

“I haven’t seen him in the water.” Rico replies. 

“He’s stressing about employer’s tax shit or something. Got J teaching him fucking spreadsheets and whatever.” 

Everyone laughs, and Adrian smiles to fit in. Renn joins them after a while, plopping herself down on Craig’s lap. Adrian’s seen them with other partners too, so he’s not sure what’s going on between them but so far hasn’t asked about it. A couple of other people join them, and talk turns inevitably to surfing. Adrian doesn’t really know how he gets a second beer, it just appears. He looks around, wondering if Cameron’s here tonight. He probably is, if he in fact is the owner of the place, like he’d claimed to be. Something clicks in Adrian’s brain about Craig’s brother being the owner, but he’s interrupted before he can make sense of it.

“What a large crowd of freeloaders.”

Adrian looks over just like everyone else does, but doesn’t join in the cheering and jeering that greets Cameron. He looks good, the fire lighting up his face, hair tied back in a loose bun. He’s wearing a college sweater without sleeves which shouldn’t work, but it shows off his really nice arms, muscles more defined than Adrian remembers. Adrian would definitely go for a second round with him. 

“’Bout time you showed up.” Craig says.

“Shut up, Craig.” Cameron rolls his eyes and slumps into the empty chair to Adrian’s right. He takes a sip of the beer he’d brought with him before taking a better look around and greeting people. He turns to Adrian last and flinches. 

“Deran, you met Adrian yet?” Rico asks. “He’s the one that bought the shop from Tao, remember I told you?”

“You talk way too fucking much, how am I supposed to remember everything you say?” Cameron, no, _Deran_, says. “Uh, hey man. I’m Deran.”

“Adrian.” Adrian says, not sure how to play things. 

“Don’t mind him, he’s always grumpy.” Craig says.

“I don’t hear you complaining about the free beer you’ve drinking all night.” Deran mutters, sinking back in the wobbly chair. 

Craig just holds up a bottle in a sarcastic toast, before letting himself be distracted by Renn. The others start talking around them, but Deran’s quiet, closed off. Adrian leans back too, rests heavily on the right armrest. 

“You use a fake name, huh?” Adrian says low enough for only Deran to hear.

Deran casts a quick glance at his friends before shrugging. “Easier that way.”

“I guess.” Adrian says. “But you do own this place?”

“Yup.” Even though Deran doesn’t really meet his eyes, he definitely perks up at that, like he’s proud of the place, or much more comfortable talking about the bar than himself. 

“Cool. You got any tips on running a business around here? I’ve had the surf shop for like, a month, and half the time I have no clue what’s happening. Who knew there were different kinds of taxes?”

Deran does meet his eyes at then, grinning, “Oh man, you’re in for a shit ride. The first thing you should know, the local business association ‘round here is a joke, don’t let yourself get bullied into it.”

Adrian notes that down mentally and asks about trash collection and a hundred other things. He and Deran end up having a very nice, if professional, conversation that none of the others are interested in. That suits Adrian just fine because having Deran to himself is cool, even if they are talking strictly business. Adrian gets lots of information he hopes he can remember tomorrow, and Deran tells him he’ll give him some phone numbers and websites before he leaves. 

Despite Craig’s razzing, Deran doesn’t take the night off completely. There’s a problem with the fryer that Deran has to fix, making everyone laugh. Apparently The Drop’s B grade from the health inspector is a running joke. Deran also tends bar for fifteen minutes when Roxy takes her break, and then he has to haul out a guy who is way too wasted and picking fights with people for just looking at him. 

Adrian tries to keep up with the different conversations happening around him, joining Rico when he chats with a guy named Tim that he’s seen around their usual surfing spot. But he still keeps an eye out for Deran, gets distracted when he sees Deran letting his hair out just to put it back up in a tighter bun. 

Realizing Cameron was a fake name should probably put Adrian off Deran. But he gets it, lots of people use fake names on apps like that. Using Grindr can be courting enough trouble without involving your real identity. Adrian had been drawn in by the man’s looks at first, then his personality, not his name. He thinks he likes ‘Deran’ better than ‘Cameron’ anyway. He’s never heard the name before, but it fits the other man. 

“See? Told you.” Rico says, making Adrian look away from Deran reaching over the bar counter to mess around with the tap.

“What?” Adrian wonders. 

Rico raises an eyebrow, tilts his head towards Deran. Adrian rolls his eyes and shoves at Rico, but he doesn’t deny it. 

It’s a weekday, but that doesn’t seem to matter to most of the crowd. It’s around midnight when people start to taper off. Craig and Renn are among the first ones, though they’re off to some party that Adrian declines tagging along to. Rico disappears at some point, Neve finds an ex to argue and make up with. Adrian talks with random people, and nurses his fourth beer for over an hour. 

“People deserted you, huh?” Deran says, coming back out to the fire pit when Adrian’s just said goodbye to some of Renn’s friends.

Adrian lifts a shoulder, “I could get home if I wanted to.”

Deran rests against the wall. It’s chilly in the air, but the fire is still hot enough to make a jacket unnecessary. 

“Was this a busy night or is it always like this?” Adrian asks, taking up a spot next to Deran, close but not too close.

“Pretty normal for a Thursday. Saturdays are our biggest night. If there’s been a surf event it gets crowded, or if I’m stupid enough to let a band play.”

Adrian’s interest is piqued, “You have bands in here?”

Deran flicks some hair back behind his ear, “Just a couple of times. When they beg hard enough. Not much of a music scene ‘round here.”

“That’s cool.” Adrian shifts, leans one shoulder against the wall so he’s facing Deran. “How come I haven’t seen you out on the waves before? Craig said you competed back in the day.”

“That was a long time ago.” Deran sighs. “I’ve just had a lot on my plate. If I’d known you’d be there I might’ve shown up.”

“Yeah?” Adrian perks up. He’s not sure where he has Deran, if he’s interested in a repeat performance or if he’s annoyed Adrian came back to the bar. 

“Sure, why not?” Deran turns his head so he’s looking straight into Adrian’s eyes. 

Adrian swallows. The bar is still open but quickly emptying of people. The way Deran was last time about kissing makes him hesitate about making a move. Otherwise he’d probably shift closer, try for Deran’s lips. 

“You wanna go in the back?” Deran asks. 

“Yeah.” Adrian nods, happy that Deran’s up for a second round too.

This time, Deran pulls Adrian in for a hard kiss the minute the door’s closed behind them. He puts both hands on Adrian’s jaw, keeps him in place as he sucks and bites at Adrian’s mouth. Adrian loves it, lets Deran do what he wants. He pushes his own shirt off but when he realizes Deran’s sweater has to be taken off over his head, he switches to opening Deran’s pants instead. He doesn’t want to stop kissing him, to feel the burn against his skin as Deran’s beard scratches him. He’s let it grow since last time, and it fits him, somehow makes him look younger than he probably is.

“How old are you?” 

Deran pulls back, looks annoyed, “What?”

Adrian reddens over the stupid question. “Sorry. Just wondered.”

“27.” Deran says, eyes hard for a second. Adrian thinks he might’ve blown it, but then Deran takes the weird sweater off, pulls Adrian in by a firm grip, “You?”

“28.” Adrian barely has the answer out before he’s shoved down on a couch that’s definitely seen better days. 

“I won’t go easy on you ‘cos you’re old.” Deran snarks. 

“I don’t want you to.” Adrian undoes his fly, “In fact, I think I’d like it if you fucked me hard.”

Deran’s smile is practically predatory and Adrian thinks he’s in for one hell of a night. 

He’s right. Deran fucks him hard and fast, not shy about pressing Adrian down on the couch and taking what he wants. He gives Adrian a few fingers in preparation but his dick is a lot bigger and as he presses in, the sensations of pain and pleasure mix and make Adrian cry out. Deran’s hands soften for a while, finding spots on Adrian’s body that gives him goosebumps, but Deran’s focused on getting his dick in, because he doesn’t stop no matter how many times he slips out of Adrian. 

He has Adrian kneeling on the couch, face smashing into the wall with every thrust. Adrian pushes his ass out so Deran can enter him more easily, but they have trouble finding a rhythm and position that works well for them both. It’s still good though, because when Deran does get the thrusts right, he hits something inside Adrian that make him gasp in pleasure. Deran bends over to lick at his neck and shoulders, the change in angle making Adrian’s dick start to leak. Deran’s wearing a necklace this time too and the pendant swipes at Adrian’s skin. Adrian’s stroking himself, Deran’s calloused hands on his ass already fantasy fodder and keeping him hard through all the awkward fumbling and shoving. 

“Harder.” Adrian bites out. 

Deran grunts, stands back up and starts fucking Adrian’s ass in earnest. By now he’s so deep inside he hardly slips out, and he’s got Adrian moaning with every breath. “Yeah, fucking tight.”

Adrian’s not big on dirty talk but he can live with it. He can definitely live with Deran’s mumbled swearing.

When Deran finally comes, he stutters into Adrian. He’s wearing a condom but Adrian can still feel it happening, the hand holding his shoulder in a tight grip a giveaway if nothing else. 

Deran pulls out quickly, slumps down on the couch next to Adrian. “You didn’t come?”

“Uh, not yet.” Adrian says, a fist around his dick. 

“Come here.” Deran tugs at Adrian’s thigh and with some very unsexy shuffling, Adrian ends up kneeling over Deran, his dick in Deran’s talented mouth.

**

Ten minutes or so after Adrian’s come, there’s a loud banging on the door to the office.

“I’m taking off, boss! Last ones just left!”

Deran’s been smoking a cigarette quietly but comes to life at that, “Yeah, okay!”

Adrian watches as Deran stands up, stretches his arms up and works out some kink in his shoulder before bending over to grab his underwear. Adrian follows his lead and finds his own boxer-briefs on the floor by the sofa. 

“Uhm,” Deran starts but nothing more comes out until Adrian looks up at him expectantly, “want me to call you an Uber?”

“I’ve got it, but thanks.” Adrian finds his t-shirt, taking a sniff of it before putting it on. He looks over at Deran again, sees the other man hovering awkwardly, scratching his beard. “This was fun.”

Deran nods, “Yup.”

“Want me to hang around while you lock up?” Adrian asks, because he knows all about being careful and not locking up alone, especially at this time of night.

“I have a place, but I crash here a lot. Figured I’d do that tonight.” Deran says. “You, uh… could still hang around.”

Adrian pauses where he’s climbing into his pants. “Yeah?” He looks around, “What, on that couch?”

Deran snorts, points to a loft Adrian’s failed to notice. “Nah, dude, I’ve got a mattress up there.”

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” Adrian pulls the pants back off. He doesn’t think he’s being too presumptuous. 

With a nod towards the door, Deran says, “I gotta lock up and stuff but you do whatever.”

Adrian decides to head for the toilet and then parks himself at the bar while Deran takes care of some stuff with the register and walks around to lock an impressive amount of doors. He hasn’t put a shirt on, and Adrian’s not above shamelessly checking him out. The bar is like a labyrinth and Adrian has a difficult time keeping track of Deran because he walks one way and comes back another, but it’s kind of nice and special, the two of them being half naked and alone in the bar. Deran’s set him up with a plate of cold fries, and Adrian gladly helps himself. 

He thinks he might like Deran. As in wanting more than just a hookup. But from how Deran carries himself, he thinks that might be a lost cause. He was weird about kissing, and having Adrian stay over is obviously out of the ordinary too. Maybe Deran thinks he has to be nice because Adrian knows his brother, albeit very superficially. It’s not like Deran’s really talked to Adrian about anything other than taxes and county permits, or has shown any interest in getting to know Adrian. He’s fucked Adrian, but he hasn’t explicitly said he even likes Adrian’s looks. 

Then again, Deran asking him to stay maybe is an inkling that he is interested in Adrian enough to do more than just hook up. Adrian gets the distinct feeling that he would’ve been tossed out ages ago if Deran wanted him gone. 

Deran comes back eventually, caging Adrian in with his arms against the counter. He leans in and steals a fry. He makes a face as he swallows. “Yuck, that’s disgusting and cold.” 

Adrian snorts, “You’re the one serving it at your bar.”

“It’s not usually cold.” Deran grumbles. 

“You really are grumpy, aren’t you? I made you come like, less than an hour ago and you’re already bitching.”

“You made me come?” Deran smirks at him, eyes dipping down to Adrian’s lips then up again. “Pretty sure I was the one that did all the work.”

Adrian puts a hand on Deran’s neck, “Well, then… You should let me even things up.”

**

They end up in the loft, Adrian finally getting his mouth on Deran’s dick. He falls asleep easily afterwards, with a space in between their bodies that’s still there when he wakes up the next morning. They share a lazy handjob, and then Deran makes breakfast for them in the bar’s kitchen. Adrian tries not to give his reaction away, but given the state of the place, Deran should be happy he’s got a B grade and not a C. The coffee is a bit on the burnt side but the _huevos rancheros_ are nice enough to make Adrian forget he doesn’t really eat breakfast. A lifetime of surfing has given him other priorities in the mornings. 

“I gotta get going, I’ve got a surfing lesson.” Adrian says when he’s finished most of his plate.

“You give lessons or take them?”

“Haha.” Adrian rolls his eyes.

Deran’s crosses his arms, slouching in his seat, “I’ve got some shit I should do too.”

Adrian knows Deran is just saying that to make it seem like he’s not bothered, and he lets it slide since he’d do the exact same if the tables were turned. 

“Maybe I’ll see you around?” Adrian says when he’s at the door and ready to leave a few minutes later. 

“Yeah. Maybe.” Deran shrugs. He seems allergic to wearing a shirt, offering Adrian a good look at the strip of hair that runs into his pants.

Adrian figures he can afford to be a little ballsy and presses a quick, easy kiss to Deran’s lips. “Thanks for feeding me.” 

Deran looks startled, and that’s the image Adrian carries with him for the rest of the day.

**

Deran starts showing at up the beach after that, sometimes with Craig, sometimes on his own. He’s a great surfer, but he only shows off occasionally. Adrian enjoys watching him in the water, see him press himself up on a board, leave the lame waves for the beginners and paddling further out to catch a good set. Rico and Neve rib Adrian about paying a little too much attention to Deran, but Adrian just smiles and takes it. It’s not like he doesn’t tease them back. He is glad they keep quiet about it around Deran though, because he’s not sure how the other man would react. 

They hook up a few times, at the bar mostly, but once in the back of Adrian’s shop when Deran comes by to get a new strap for his board. Deran really, really likes giving head, and Adrian enjoys receiving it. When they’re at the bar, he can usually coax Deran into a hard and fast tumble against cases of beer. Adrian becomes somewhat of a regular, feeling confident enough to show up at The Drop even if no one he knows has said they’re going. He usually does know someone though, Rico wasn’t lying when he said it was the favorite drinking spot of the local surfers. It’s obvious Deran puts a lot of time, effort and love into his bar, and Adrian doesn’t mind hanging around with others while Deran works. It only gets weird when Deran says he has family stuff to deal with it. Deran just acts pissy about it, but to Adrian it seems like his family doesn’t respect how much the bar means to him. He sort of says that out loud once, and gets a scarily blank face from Deran in response. Adrian figures he crossed a line and gives Deran a blowjob to forget about it.

There’s parties on the beach as the summer comes closer. They go to a few of the same parties, but it’s not like they go to them _together_. At the first one they end up passing a joint back and forth, spending most of the night sitting in wooden beach chairs next to each other. The conversation is a little awkward, mostly about surfing, the two of them sharing stories from when they competed. Adrian talks about knowing Tao and the stars aligning when he’d finished business school and Tao wanted to sell. Deran mostly just hums, reacts by giving exasperated looks or mumbled expletives. Adrian gets why Craig calls Deran grumpy, but he thinks that’s just a side effect of him not being a talker. Doesn’t mean he’s not listening, or not interested, because whenever Adrian falls quiet for too long, Deran prompts him with another question or statement.

He meets J, Deran’s nephew, at a party, and doesn’t really understand if Deran likes him or not. Craig and Deran seem annoyed by J’s presence, yet still talk to him all night and make weird in-joke comments that really didn’t seem joking at all, talking about some Smurf character that sounds crazy and manipulative. A point in J’s favor is that he doesn’t freak out when Deran puts his arm around Adrian’s back, and asks Adrian about college when they end up alone. J asks Adrian not to mention that subject to Deran since J doesn’t know if he’ll even bother and Adrian agrees because what does he care about their weird family dynamic?

**

Deleting Grindr is a relief. It’s never really been Adrian’s scene, so even though he knows it might be assuming too much about what he and Deran are to each other, he decides to not keep the app. He doesn’t ask Deran if he still uses it. They haven’t promised each other anything, haven’t even really mentioned the fact that they have sex together except for the odd ‘_come by later_’ or ‘_could you buy condoms?_’ as they part after an hour or two of surfing. It’s usually mumbled quietly, away from the others. Adrian knows they’re not fooling anyone, but Deran’s obviously touchy about it, and Adrian doesn’t care one way or the other as long as he doesn’t have to pretend to be straight.

The closest they come to a date is a night that Deran shows up at Adrian’s place, asks if he can stay somewhere his brothers can’t find him. Adrian gives him a beer and they watch a Stanley Cup game, Deran chainsmoking like it’s going out of style. They don’t fool around, and when Deran leaves, Adrian doesn’t know what the evening was all about, but at least Deran looked calmer than when he arrived. 

It’s nearly four months after they first hooked up when Deran goes AWOL for a few days, doesn’t show up at the beach, has told Roxy and Kai to look after the bar and ignores Adrian’s messages. Adrian would be worried if it wasn’t for Renn saying Deran and Craig are in Mexico for a couple of days. 

When they show back up, Deran has a bruise on his cheek, and Craig’s got his arm in a sling. J is in and out of the bar, looking agitated. He even shows up at the beach one morning and he and Deran yell at each other. Everyone else that’s there that morning look away, suddenly finding the tame waves very inviting. When Adrian attempts to get Deran’s attention, he gets told to fuck off. 

Deran comes by Adrian’s place that night, but he doesn’t apologize, just tosses Adrian on the bed and fucks him with almost no prep.

“I might like it rough, but that was more than usual and it would’ve been nice to talk about it beforehand. But that would entail you actually talking, so.” Adrian says when Deran comes out of the shower afterwards.

“I’m not here to talk.” Deran says, closing the towel around his waist.

“Yeah, I got that. Loud and clear.”

“What do you want from me?” Deran asks, staring at Adrian through the bathroom mirror. “I’m not your boyfriend. I’m not gonna fag it up with you.”

“Wow.” Adrian shakes his head. “Your issues are so much deeper than I thought.”

Deran turns angry then, gets in Adrian’s face, “Don’t think for a second that you know me.”

Adrian is too tired to deal with Deran’s shit, “I know you should get out of my house.”

“This isn’t your house,” Deran sneers, “you just rent a room.”

Adrian takes a step back, glares in surprised anger. “Get your shit and leave. Don’t call me unless you grow the fuck up.” 

He walks away before Deran has a chance to hurt him some more. He hides in Chad’s room until he hears the front door slam closed, then wonders if he’s finally seeing the real Deran, the one that all that silence has kept hidden.

**

Avoiding Deran is surprisingly easy, all Adrian has to do is not go to The Drop. There are other bars in Oceanside, including one that has a gay night. He dances with a couple of guys, makes out with a twink but when the guy’s boyfriend shows up, Adrian doesn’t take them up on their offer. 

Rico and Neve definitely notice that something’s up when Adrian keeps begging off from their after work drinks, and says he’s exploring other stretches of water in the area to really get to know the different currents and beaches. Chad jokes he might start charging extra rent since Adrian is at home so much.

“Blow me.” Adrian bites back.

Chad just grins, “The way I hear it, Deran Cody might have a problem with me doing that.”

Adrian snorts, “He’s got like, a hundred problems.”

“You’re really leaving that joke out there for me? Really?” Chad grins wider, “Are you the bitch that’s taking him from 99 problems to a hundred?”

“Fuck you.” Adrian lunges for Chad and they wrestle around the living room until the microwave beeps and the poptarts are done.

**

It’s Craig that finally approaches Adrian two weeks later when they end up parked next to each other at the beach, Adrian in the middle of changing out of his wetsuit when Craig pulls up in the Scout that he seems to share with Deran even though they don’t live together or work at the same place. Adrian doesn’t think Craig has a job.

“Adrian! Dude!” Craig goes in for a bro hug, but seeing Adrian’s expression, he pulls back. “Where you been, dude, haven’t seen you lately.”

“I’ve been around.” Adrian says because he really does not want to get into it with Deran’s brother. He has no idea what Deran has told anyone about them, especially not now that they’re on the outs.

“Cool.” Craig leans against the Scout, “Look, I know Deran fucked up somehow. He’s being a crankier bitch than usual and he fucking flipped when I mentioned your name. So, what do I have to make him do for you to forgive him?”

Adrian chuckles, “Can you make him talk like a normal person?”

“That bad, huh? To be honest, I think that ship sailed years ago.” 

“Why am I not surprised?” Adrian pulls a tank top on, runs his hand over his hair. “I don’t know, sometimes things just don’t work out. I don’t wanna make it weird by being at The Drop, maybe in a while, yeah?”

“Yeah, okay.” Craig seems disappointed. Adrian’s about to hop into his car when Craig says, “For what it’s worth, he really likes you. He’s just shit at that stuff.”

Adrian smiles half-heartedly, “I’ll see you around.”

**

It’s not until Craig shows up with Deran in tow at Rico’s party two days later that Adrian realizes they’ve been set up. Rico’s not thrown a party for as long as Adrian’s known him, and the place is tiny for the amount of people that are there. Rico keeps asking if Adrian’s doing alright and acting like a general spaz, and then Craig is there with a bro hug that Adrian can’t deflect and Deran is fidgeting beside them and doing anything to keep from looking Adrian in the eyes. 

Adrian glares at Rico and plants himself outside on the little porch. He’s only been out there for a minute or two when the door opens and Deran walks out. Again, he doesn’t quite meet Adrian’s eyes, but he nods in acknowledgment. There’s already a lit cigarette between his lips. 

Adrian decides to be petty, and not start any conversation. He’s not really mad at Deran, what would he be mad about? Deran’s obvious self-esteem issues? The fact that they were fucking around, and now they’re not because of Adrian calling Deran on his bullshit? It sucks because he likes Deran, more than he should considering the small amount of time they’ve spent together. He thought he was slowly getting Deran to come out of his shell around him, and maybe Adrian daydreamed about them actually being in a relationship, but he’s an adult and he can get over this with just a little time. It’s better to end it now before Adrian has actual feelings for the guy. 

“Uhm, how are you? Fuck.” Deran says the last word under his breath, and it makes Adrian laugh.

“I’m okay. You? Your bruise is gone.” 

Deran touches his cheek, “Yeah. No, that’s fine. It looked worse than it was.”

“That’s good.”

“I, uh,” Deran takes a drag on his cigarette before flipping it to the ground. “About last time.”

Adrian tenses, glad he already has his arms crossed. A warm wind comes up from the ocean, and he shivers ever so slightly. He watches Deran light another cigarette. They really are his security blanket. 

“I was out of line.” Deran says quietly. The music from inside is turned up a notch, as are the voices of the guests. Deran sits down on the porch, keeping a fair amount of space between him and Adrian. Their legs stretch out over the brown grass. “People are pretty sick of me.”

“I don’t care about people.” Adrian says, because he thinks it’s a copout to bring others into a situation that has nothing to do with anyone but them.

“I’m not good at this.” Deran says. He puts the cigarette out against the wooden slats of the porch, takes Adrian’s hand in his, “I just want it to be okay.”

Adrian doesn’t pull away, but he’s not sure what to say. He lets Deran crowd in close, press a kiss to Adrian’s neck. 

“I just want us to be okay. Please.” Deran sounds so heartbroken, so desperate. He keeps repeating the last word against Adrian’s neck, puts his arms around his shoulders. Adrian thinks there might even be tears, which throws him for a loop, because why would Deran cry over him? He’s never acted like Adrian matters all that much to him. 

“Can I ask you something?” Adrian asks when Deran’s calmed down, and is resting his head on Adrian’s shoulder.

Deran nods, struggles with the pocket on his denim jacket for a moment before finally getting his lighter out. 

“Are you out? Because everyone seems to know you’re gay, but you never…” Adrian trails off. 

“I’m out.” Deran says, picking up his abandoned cigarette and lighting it again. “Have been for a year, give or take. I just… I’m not. I’m not loud and proud, or whatever.”

Adrian plays with the ends of Deran’s hair, “I think it’s okay not to be loud, but I think you should be proud. Not only of the fact that you’re gay, but of who you are. I think you should be proud of yourself for the bar, and how good you are at giving head, and your hair.”

Deran snorts, but the compliments must be doing their job because he puts a hand on the inside of Adrian’s knee, thumb rubbing back and forth over Adrian’s pants.

“I think that you’re used to minimizing your own self-worth for some reason, and I think you should break that habit.” Adrian knows he’s saying a lot, some that really isn’t his place to say. He smiles in a hopefully disarming way, moves his hand into Deran’s hair properly and guides him into a light press of lips, nothing there but an honest admission of fondness. “I gotta go.”

Deran tightens his hand on Adrian’s knee, keeping him there for a short moment before he finally meets Adrian’s eyes, his gaze firm and steady. Adrian smiles and raises a shoulder, untangling himself and standing up. He knows they haven’t solved anything, not really, but this is as good as it’s gonna get for now. Staying will either end in them fucking, or fucking things up. For once, Adrian wants to pick the mature way of handling a problem. 

“Hey, Sigmund Freud.” Deran says as Adrian’s about to re-enter Rico’s tiny house. “I am proud of my hair.”

“I’m proud of you for knowing who Sigmund Freud is.”

“Fuck off, college boy.” Deran calls after him, making Adrian laugh. 

**

_ You wanna come over tonight? _

Adrian frowns at the message. Deran’s never texted him like that before. He’s asked what beach they’re all at, or if the forgotten hoodie in the office is Adrian’s. He’s sent a couple of pictures too, pictures that have made Adrian lose his train of thought and made him show up at the bar with plans for the two of them.

Despite their talk at Rico’s party, Adrian’s not been back to The Drop. The first couple of days it was because he felt like the ball was in Deran’s court and when Deran didn’t contact Adrian, he convinced himself things were really over. Then Neve was sick and he had to work double to make sure orders got filled. The shop isn’t exactly struggling, but he can’t afford to turn business away or be late on the customization orders. He’s spent the past couple of evenings at the shop, stumbling home around midnight and passing out. 

_ Can’t until later _ . Adrian sends. Maybe it’s unnecessary, it’s not like they don’t usually wait until the bar’s closed before fucking around. Adrian hadn’t been lying, Deran really should be proud of the amount of work and love he puts into running that place. 

_ I’ll pick you up, let me know when. _

Adrian sees the message about fifteen minutes after it’s time-stamped and he frowns again. Deran’s never offered to pick him up before. He’s driven Adrian to the shop a couple of times after they’ve surfed in the mornings, even done him a solid by driving him home after they’ve hooked up. But coming to pick Adrian up is a new one. 

Deciding around seven that’ll it be more fun to hang out with Deran and probably get laid, and that he’ll be more productive in the coming days if he gets a proper evening off, Adrian texts Deran that he’s ready to be picked up. There’s a honk outside some twenty minutes later, so Adrian puts the last things away and heads out. 

“Hey.” Adrian says as he climbs into the Scout. 

“Hey.” Deran puts a hand on Adrian’s knee and squeezes. 

Adrian quickly realizes they’re not heading towards The Drop. They’re still by the beach for one, and Deran doesn’t even attempt to make the right turn they’d need to make to get to the bar. He’s about to ask where they’re going when Deran turns onto a residential street. He parks the car a few houses down and gets out, so Adrian does the same.

As Deran leads him inside a beach-front house, Adrian finally notes that Deran is wearing nicer clothes than usual. He’s got on dark jeans that hug his ass perfectly but still look loose and comfortable, he’s got a beige Henley on, and most noteworthy of all, his hair looks both washed and combed. By the time Adrian’s looking at a table set for two and Deran’s shifting nervously at his side, Adrian realizes Deran’s brought him to his house for a date. A date. They are on a date.

Adrian takes Deran’s hand and pulls him in for a kiss. Deran’s tense for a second, but then he pushes into Adrian’s space, hands on his face and turning the kiss into something harder. Adrian doesn’t let himself get distracted by Deran’s mouth, at least not for long. “I would’ve changed clothes if I’d known.”

Deran shrugs, flicking his hair behind his ear in a move Adrian will never admit out loud is very cute. “I gotta get the chicken out the oven. You want beer?”

“Uh, yes.” Adrian says, like Deran’s an idiot for even asking. 

Deran rolls his eyes and points to the fridge. Adrian gets them a bottle of beer each, using the excuse to take a look inside Deran’s fridge. It’s stocked, and while a lot of it is beer or other types of beverages, there’s a lot of other stuff too, more vegetables than he’d thought, various meats and condiments, eggs and butter. Considering how Deran always makes them a proper breakfast when Adrian crashes at the bar, he’s not surprised that Deran’s a cook at home too.

An awesome smell hits his nostrils and he turns his attention to Deran instead. He’s got two plates dished up and is adding spices to what looks like some kind of chicken pasta. 

“That looks a lot better than when I attempt pasta.” Adrian says, coming over and putting his hand on Deran’s waist. He hovers while Deran does things with cheese and herbs that Adrian’s only seen on cooking shows, glad not to be pushed away and wondering if he’s gonna be lucky enough to land himself a boyfriend who can cook. 

It is a lot tastier than the things Adrian usually pulls together with the help of a microwave, but when Adrian says so, Deran just kind of ignores it.

“Take the damn compliment, Deran. I thought we talked about this.” Adrian says, and maybe it comes out a little harsher than he meant to.

Deran takes a sip of his beer and Adrian could bet a hundred bucks Deran would like to have a cigarette right now. 

“Sorry.” Adrian mumbles, taking his gaze off of Deran. He looks around some more. Deran’s house is big for someone as young as he is, and living on his own. It has an open plan, the kitchen set at the back of the living room, the other end of it a wall of glass that opens up onto a deck overlooking the beach. There are surfboards out there, and two more by the front door. There are traces of Deran’s other hobbies lying around, ashtrays seemingly everywhere, a paintball gun, a skateboard. Adrian bites back a grin, it definitely looks like Deran tried to tidy the place up but has a different idea of what makes a house tidy than most. 

“I, uh,” Deran clears his throat, “growing up, my mother, she, uh, would tell me I was special, that I was talented and… it doesn’t matter. But then she and my older brothers, they’d treat me like I wasn’t good for anything, she’d let them remind me of my size. It messed with my head. So.” Deran raises a shoulder in that way he has when he’s trying to act like words don’t really matter.

“You don’t really talk about your family.” Adrian says carefully, offering Deran an out if he wants it.

Deran moves some chicken around with his fork, “Not much to tell.”

Adrian suspects the opposite is true, but he can take a hint. “My dad doesn’t want anything to do with me, not since I came out. Which was nearly 10 years ago.”

Deran snorts, “My dad hasn’t wanted anything to do with me for my entire life. He took off when I was a baby, I’ve never even met the guy.”

Adrian sighs, “Well this turned depressing quickly.”

Deran snorts, “Just eat.”

Later, Deran’s putting away the dishes, leaving Adrian to get a closer look at the pictures and knick-knacks around the house. He gets a glance of the bedroom as he uses the toilet, but the thing that really catches his eyes is a framed photo of Deran and Craig with two other guys. Deran looks a couple of years younger than he is now. 

“Who is this?” Adrian points at the picture.

Deran looks over from where he’s getting them more beer. “That’s my brothers. Baz and Pope, they’re the two you haven’t met.”

“Pope?” Adrian accepts the beer when Deran comes to stand next to him. He notes that Deran doesn’t move to touch him. 

“Yeah, that’s what everyone calls him. He’s the one on the right. He’s a lot older than me.”

“And Baz?” 

Deran’s quiet, jaw working. “Baz died last year.”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry.” Adrian keeps ruining this date, if he keeps this up he’ll be lucky if Deran doesn’t ban him from The Drop.

“It’s fine. I mean.” Deran sighs heavily. “It’s not fine but yeah. He was adopted. My mother, she took him in when he was a kid, cared for him a lot more than she ever did me.”

Even if this is the most depressing date Adrian’s ever been on, he’s sure learning a lot. “You talk about her in the past tense.”

“Yeah, she died too. Cancer, couple of months before we met.”

Adrian puts his bottle of beer on the mantle of the boarded up fireplace that he found the framed photo on. He tugs on Deran’s arms until he has them uncrossed, and gives him a hug. Deran lets him, for a while. When Deran starts shuffling from foot to foot, Adrian releases him.

Deran scoffs for no reason, “God, I used to hate the way Baz treated me. He never listened to me, never cared about what I thought. The same shit he’d drag me for doing, he’d turn around and do the same thing himself. And Smurf always let it happen. She always took his fucking side, man.”

“Who’s Smurf?”

Deran starts feeling his pockets, looking for his smokes. “We always called our mother Smurf. She was a real fucking piece of work. Didn’t like being called mom. If you ask me, she didn’t like being reminded she had kids, because all she ever cared about was herself.”

Adrian remembers the party where Deran, Craig and J had been saying all kinds of fucked up shit about someone named Smurf. They’d all been arguing about something she’d done to them, was still doing to them. Deran had gone on about them leaving the bar out of it. Adrian had made himself scarce until Deran came looking for him, dragging him with him down to the water to sit and glare out over the dark ocean.

“You know, since we’re doing this,” Deran says, reaching to open a drawer on the tiny desk next to the fireplace, shuffling some photographs around before pulling one out, “I guess I should tell you about Julia too.”

“Julia?” Adrian takes the photo of a teenage girl in a bikini covered in mud. 

“J’s mom. She was Pope’s twin. Smurf threw her out when I was just a kid, I hardly knew her. She OD’d about two years ago, J had never been a part of the family before then.” Deran lets out a long breath. “He was better off not knowing us.”

Adrian puts the photograph down. He puts his arms on top of Deran’s shoulders, locks his hands behind Deran’s neck. He makes sure Deran is looking him in the eyes, when he says, “Thanks for showing me.”

Deran nods. Adrian kisses him firmly but doesn’t move to take things further. Deran rests their foreheads together. 

“I made pie.” Deran says quietly.

“Yeah?” Adrian grins, puts a finger under Deran’s chin to tilt his head back up. “You did? What kind?”

“Pecan.”

“Oh come on, that’s so unfair. You’re hot as fuck, you fuck me just right, _and_ you make pecan pie? How am I supposed to resist that?”

“What can I say? I’m awesome.” Deran slaps Adrian’s ass before walking back to the kitchen to get the pie. 

**

They fuck face to face in Deran’s bed, where there are pillows and even a duvet, instead of the travesty of piled blankets that make up the bar’s crawlspace. Deran takes his time with Adrian’s body, teasing him and holding Adrian down when he tries to move things along. The lights are on and Adrian can see a lot more of Deran than he usually can, like his stomach trembling and his shoulders straining. He can also see how red Deran’s face is and how his hair constantly gets stuck in his mouth now that he’s let it grow longer. He likes it all, but most of all he likes how Deran’s eyes are focused on him, how they burn darkly. Adrian can feel the sweat on his own skin, hopes he looks half as attractive as Deran does. 

Adrian has to stop midway to ask for a glass of water because he actually thinks he might pass out from how Deran keeps taking him to the edge and then guiding him off it. He’s pretty surprised Deran has the patience for it, considering how the sex is virtually always hard and fast between them. 

“You good?” Deran asks when Adrian’s drained the glass. 

“Yeah.” Adrian settles on his back, “Sorry. Thanks for getting me water.”

“No problem. Okay if I push back in?”

Adrian reaches down, takes Deran’s cock and guides him back to his hole. They’ve gotten a lot better at this since the first time, have found out how their bodies work together and when to push or help things along. Deran usually slides in easier if Adrian helps out. 

Deran tugs Adrian’s hips up his thighs, Adrian’s ass lifting from the bed. Deran bends over, pressing open kisses to Adrian’s jaw and mouth as he thrusts in and out of Adrian’s body. It’s clear he’s done with the teasing, and Adrian is so thankful for that.

With a loud, hot breath against Adrian’s neck, Deran comes not many minutes later. Adrian sweeps his hand over Deran’s hair. He doesn’t understand what’s happening when Deran rolls away, but Deran tugs on his arm until Adrian rolls after him.

“You should jerk off on me.” Deran mumbles, sliding a hand over his chest. 

Adrian looks at Deran’s face, then his stomach. “You know, I really should.”

He’s not been on top of Deran like this before, mostly because there’s no space for it in the loft at The Drop. But here he can sit on top of Deran without knocking his head into the ceiling beams. He jerks off with both hands, shifting back and forth across Deran’s hips. Deran’s already smoking a cigarette, but he’s watching Adrian’s dick with hooded eyes, while Adrian’s watching Deran’s lips around the cigarette. When Adrian comes, Deran moves some of the jizz around on his sweaty body and it’s enough for Adrian to pluck the cigarette from Deran’s mouth and take his own long drag on it. 

“I thought you didn’t smoke.” Deran says.

“Live and learn.” Adrian says nonsensically, lying back to enjoy the afterglow. 

**

Adrian spends the night. He sleeps curled up on his side, Deran huddled close behind him but not quite cuddling him. 

Adrian wakes up once and stumbles to the toilet. His ass and thighs are sore, but in the best way. He slides back in under the comforter, sees Deran’s relaxed face as he sleeps on unperturbed. Adrian realizes that he’s fucked. Those feelings he was hesitant about developing for Deran, seems like they’ve arrived in full force. 

**

Because Deran Cody is who he is, there’s breakfast waiting for Adrian the next time he wakes up. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever eaten this much in the mornings in my life.” Adrian says. 

“What does that mean?” Deran asks, looking just a little affronted. 

Adrian chuckles, leans over to smack a kiss onto Deran’s cheek, “Just that I’m usually out in the water as early as I can be.”

“Oh. I can stop making breakfast if you don’t wanna eat it.” Deran looks positively crushed by the prospect.

“No!” Adrian’s quick to reassure, “I like when you cook for me.”

“Yeah?” Deran’s looking up at him through eyelashes that Adrian never realized were so long and dark before. He looks pleased by Adrian’s comment. 

“Yup.” Adrian takes another piece of toast to butter up, just to prove it. He might not be a breakfast man yet, but if Deran keeps trying maybe Adrian can change his routine. “Hey, how can you afford this place? It’s huge, and right on the beach. You have, like, four boards and all other kinds of cool toys. You’re barely thirty and you run a dive bar.”

Deran tenses suddenly. He gets up from the table, brings his plate to the sink. Adrian knows he’s said something Deran doesn’t like, and prepares for yet more one-word answers and considers if he really wants a relationship with someone who gets touchy about every other subject. 

“Smurf, she made a fortune in real estate. She gave us all money when she was still around. It’s how she controlled us, you know? Gave us enough to let us party around without worries, not care about work or school or bullshit like that. But then she’d come ask us for favors, make us do shit for her… It was never worth it. The bar was my fuck you to her, proving I didn’t need her or her money. She was only there once.” Deran snorts, “She only ever showed up once, and all she did was embarrass me. Fucking bitch. I hate her. She still fucks with us, you know, with the will. I bet she got off on it, knowing we’d have to deal with her nonsense for years to come.”

Adrian doesn’t know what to say to that. 

Deran turns around, rinses his plate. “I know you think I don’t say a lot. No one’s ever been interested in what I have to say. You actually listen and that’s never happened before so it’s like I can’t stop talking and I say all this shit that freaks you out. So it’s safer if I don’t say anything at all.”

“It doesn’t freak me out.” Adrian gets up, walks over to hug Deran from behind, resting his head on Deran’s back. “I think it freaks you out.” He kisses Deran’s shoulder since he’s topless again and his skin is very nice to kiss. “We should use those boards of yours, head out while the waves are good. You got a pair of shorts I can borrow?”

“Yeah. That sounds alright.”

**

It’s not surprising that things change between them after that, for the better as far as Adrian is concerned. Deran asks him to come over to his house more often than not, and there’s usually a meal of some kind involved. Adrian sometimes spends his evenings there even when Deran is at the bar or on one of the million errands around town he seems to have but never says much about. There’s enough room for Adrian to do the paperwork for the surf shop and he can spend hours on the deck, drawing ideas for customized boards while getting inspiration from the ocean in front of him. Sometimes he waits around The Drop until Deran’s closed up, and they drive home together, exchanging handjobs in Deran’s huge shower. 

A few times they even go out. They get sushi one night, actually sit down and eat it at a restaurant. Deran is clearly uncomfortable at first, but with beers and Adrian’s foot pressed against his, he seems to relax. Another night they go to a ska gig at another bar, the music loud and fast. They don’t dance or join the mosh pit, but it’s still a memorable night out together, especially when Deran lets it slip that Cameron is in fact his middle name.

They get sandwiches near the surf shop for lunch one day and eat out on the restaurant’s patio. Adrian mentions how it reminds him of a place in San Diego, which somehow turns into his coming out story, which turns into Deran revealing he was doing time in juvie for car theft around the same time Adrian was dealing with his shithead father. It’s not until hours later that Adrian realizes Deran had no trouble accepting Adrian’s small reassuring touches in the middle of the day in a crowded place.

In the fall, Neve cuts back on her hours at the surf shop due to her classes at college so Adrian hires an extra set of hands. Theo’s still in high school but shows up at the beach most mornings and keeps up with the older, more experienced surfers. Craig loves goading him, but Adrian thinks it’s because he wants to push Theo into daring more extreme turns because he has the talent to pull them off. Adrian enjoys teaching Theo the technical stuff about keeping a board in ship-shape condition and secretly finds Theo’s girlfriend trouble highly amusing. He and Rico give Theo really, really shit love advice and it’s only half for the kicks. They’re often genuinely surprised when their romantic gestures don’t work on Tamara. 

Adrian and Deran don’t really talk about what they’re doing, or what they are to each other. But they now do show up at parties together, have dinner with Craig and Renn, and people start more openly referring to them as a unit. Adrian plays it cool even though he’s dying to know if Deran thinks of him as his boyfriend. With the amount of time they spend together, and how often Adrian is at Deran’s house, he finds it implausible that Deran hooks up with others. There’s also the fact that Deran’s opening up around him, both through words and actions. Adrian keeps falling harder and harder for the other man. 

There are still times when Deran disappears for hours, even days, on end. Times when they have plans and Deran flakes last minute without a real explanation. Times when Craig and J are around and act weirder than usual. If Adrian asks about it, Deran just waves his concerns away. If he doesn’t ask about it, Deran sulks until Adrian gives him his undivided attention. They fight more than Adrian wants to, but he figures it’s down to Deran still figuring his shit out in regards to being openly gay, and maybe his family. Deran’s said a few more things about Smurf that would clue anyone in to the face that Deran has a lot of self-confidence issues because of her. 

Before Adrian knows it, the holidays are coming up. It’s an awkward conversation to start, and somehow it turns into an argument. Apparently, Deran thinks all holidays are bullshit and just a way to guilt people into giving you things so you forgive them for all the shit they put you through during the year. Adrian’s not a traditionalist when it comes to holidays, but he does have to stand up for his mother and sister, and wow, is that the wrong thing to do. Deran says something about Adrian having a cushy, sheltered life and Adrian just snaps, shouting at Deran to stop putting his own misery on others and walks out.

He stays in his room at Chad’s for two nights in a row for the first time in a long time. Chad gives him a wide berth. The second morning Adrian wakes up to find a text from Deran, a simple ‘_come back_’ and Adrian spends the day considering whether that’s enough.

He’s still pondering it that night when he and Chad are having pizza in front of some reality TV show about tattoo artists. There’s a knock at the door, and Chad goes to look. He comes back quickly.

“You in for Cody?” Chad asks, looking a little nervous.

“Which one?”

Chad snorts, “The one you’re obviously arguing with.”

Adrian sighs, tosses a slice of pizza into his mouth and gets up. Deran’s waiting on the porch, shifting from foot to foot. “What do you want?”

Deran turns around. He doesn’t say anything.

Adrian closes the door, leans back against it. “Look man, I don’t respond well to orders. Telling me to come back, that’s not an apology.”

“I know.” Deran sounds so sorry about the whole mess, voice fragile. “I know. I… uh, I’m sorry. Okay? Just, what are you doing here, dude? You and me, we’ll figure this out. Get your shit, let’s go home.”

With a shake of his head, Adrian walks over, takes Deran’s hand. “That’s still an order. I can’t be with someone who thinks they can tell me what to do. This thing, _us_, it’s always on your terms. You want me around your house, the bar, ready to come over whenever you have time, and I usually don’t mind that because I want that too. But when you cancel dates, I don’t even get to ask why without you blowing up. You get to disappear for days and I’m just supposed to be cool with it. I like you, Deran. I really fucking like you. But I’m not gonna be happy if I let myself be bossed around again.”

Deran squeezes Adrian’s hands, pushes their chests together. He looks like he might start crying. “Please. Please, give me a chance to make it right. Please.”

Adrian kisses Deran’s temple, “I really want to, man. But I don’t…”

Deran puts his arms around Adrian, “Please. I’ll do anything.”

“I don’t want you to say you’ll do anything.” Adrian says. “I want us to be equal. That’s the point.”

Deran puts his face in Adrian’s neck, “Please.”

They stand holding each other for a long moment, Deran breaking apart in Adrian’s arms and Adrian wondering if he can deal with Deran’s emotional turbulence. He thinks even Deran might’ve clued into the fact that repressing his feelings about nearly everything in his life means that when they make it through to the surface, they explode and he gets overwhelmed. The apology tonight is just another example of Deran overcompensating. 

“Hey,” Adrian pulls back, puts his hand on Deran’s cheek. Deran’s eyes are red. Adrian steels his resolve, “I’m gonna stay here tonight. You can join me and Chad for pizza if you want. But I think we need to sleep on this.”

Deran looks miserable, “What’s the point? If you want to break up with me–” 

“I don’t.” Adrian says firmly. “But I want to think about where we go from here, and you probably should too.”

“I don’t need to think.” Deran says. 

“Seriously, stop knee-jerk reacting to everything I say!” Adrian snaps. “Sorry. Shit. Could you just maybe listen, and not take everything as a worst-case? Come on, you wanna come inside?”

Deran looks torn, like maybe he wants to jump into his car and drive for hours but he relents and goes inside with Adrian. Chad looks at them with apprehension, but he moves to a chair so Deran and Adrian can sit on the couch together, and that’s about the nicest thing Chad has done for as long as Adrian’s known him. 

**

“Deran says you wanna do something for Thanksgiving.” Craig announces at the bar one night the following week. 

“I did not, I said he wondered if we’re doing anything.” Deran says from where he’s changing the barrel.

“Smurf always had a huge party and cooked for everyone, that sound like something you’d be down with?” Craig carries on like Deran hasn’t spoken at all. 

“Uh, sure.” Adrian says. He’s already confirmed his stay with his mother in San Diego over Christmas, but has sort of been avoiding bringing it all back up with Deran.

In the last week, Deran’s been very attentive, and very sweet, to the point that Adrian’s the one blushing and acting weird. He’s asked more about Adrian’s family, sent him texts throughout the day and generally acted like a proper boyfriend. Adrian knows it’s Deran’s tendency to overcompensate that’s acting up, and he should let him know he doesn’t need to hear from Deran four times a day, but he’s going to enjoy it a little at first. 

“Cool.” Craig says, “I’ll let people know it’s business as usual.”

Adrian fist bumps Craig as he walks past, and waits for Deran to come over. “What does he mean business as usual?”

Deran shakes his head, “Who knows with that kid?”

**

Adrian finds out what Craig means when Deran drives him over to what he says is the Cody family house. They’re there at four, but a fair amount of people are already getting wasted by the pool. Deran leads him through an actual maze, taking him through a garage, past a pool, into a corridor of rooms and bypassing a kitchen until they’re back where they started. At least Adrian thinks they are. 

“This is a confusing house.” Adrian deadpans.

Deran laughs, loud and happy where it’s usually sarcastic or self-deprecating. “Try living here.”

“So which room is yours?”

Deran takes him to a room that looks stuck in the late teenage years of a boy who likes to surf. “This was my room, Craig was in there.” Deran points towards a bathroom that Adrian sees connects the room they’re in with another. “I know J stayed in here for a while, then I think he gave it someone else. I haven’t had this room in years.”

“The posters all look like yours. These trophies, they’re yours?” Adrian looks over the golden, silver and plastic statuettes that have dates ranging a ten-year span on them. 

“Yeah.” Deran takes an elastic band from his back pocket, puts his hair up. “I was good, when she let me surf.”

“You should have these trophies at yours, man, not at your dead mom’s place. Or at the bar, goes with the décor.”

Deran snorts, “I think that’s the most gay thing you’ve said to me.”

Adrian gives him an unimpressed look, “You begging to suck my dick is way more gay, asshole. Besides, I can outdo it right now, are we gonna make out in your room, or what?”

By the time they join the party again, an hour has passed and they’ve done a lot more than just make out. They’re both happy to see that Craig, and apparently Pope, has organized catering to feed an army and enough booze to drown a small country. Adrian finally meets Deran’s oldest brother for the first time as he’s helping himself to turkey and coleslaw. Pope is intense but he seems to make an effort for Deran’s sake and tells Adrian to not be a stranger before disappearing into the crowd. J shows up minutes later and is a lot more relaxed, asking how the shop is doing and if Deran is behaving himself.

Deran grumbles at J, but looks at Adrian in wonder when Adrian says Deran’s being pretty solid. J gives Deran a pointed look, and offers them some of the weed he’s got. 

For the next couple of hours, they mostly sit around the pool, talking to the random people they know that show up as the party gets rowdier, but they also split up a few times when Craig or J comes to pull Deran away, or when Rico steals Adrian to talk to some artist guy who’s working on a surfboard line. 

They always seem to gravitate back to each other, and with about three beers, two shots of tequila and some weed in them, they head back to Deran’s room to hook up again. 

Adrian knows his face and neck is red from beard burn when they walk back out and takes Rico’s ribbing in stride, motioning to Deran to chill out about it. Deran might be cool about people knowing they fuck, but it’s different when people are saying things about it to his face, even positive things. 

Thankfully, Rico has something else to talk about, “Theo’s here! With the girlfriend!”

“No way, Tamara’s here?” Adrian gets super excited at the prospect of meeting Theo’s infamous girlfriend.

“Let’s go find them!” Rico turns on his heel, Adrian following quickly.

“Theo, isn’t he the teen working for you?” Deran asks. Adrian hadn’t noticed Deran tagging along. 

“Yeah, man!” Adrian enthuses, “We’ve gotta meet this girl! She’s a legend at the shop! And she hasn’t even been there!”

Deran grins at him, but Adrian doesn’t have time to dissect why, he has to concentrate on not losing Rico in the crowd. 

“You know a lot of people that doesn’t do Thanksgiving.” Adrian muses out loud. 

“Or a lot of people like our parties enough to ditch their families.” Deran says.

“You have a lot of them? You’ve never taken me to a party here before.” Adrian pouts.

Deran laughs, roughing up Adrian’s hair, “Used to have them all the time. This is the first one in a while.”

“Okay.” Adrian almost slams into Rico who’s stopped in front of him. “There’s Theo! That’s gotta be her!”

Rico and Adrian amble over, greeting Theo with excited backslaps and grinning at the girl he’s with.

“Guys, this is Tamara.” Theo gestures between them all. “Tam, this is my boss. And Rico, I told you about him. And uh, that’s my boss’ boyfriend.”

Adrian glances back at Deran, waggles his eyebrows before turning to Tamara. “Hey Tamara, it’s great to meet you. Theo talks about you all the time.” He gets an elbow in his ribs from Rico and Theo shushes him. 

Tamara rakes her eyes over Adrian and Rico, grinning at her like the dopes they are. “Are these the two morons that told you to get Tinder?”

“We did not!” Rico protests. 

“So not true!” Adrian exclaims. 

Tamara puts her hands on her hips in a total power move, and raises an eyebrow, “You told him it’d be romantic if he deleted Tinder in front of me.”

“Not at all, I said that he’d show he was being serious if he deleted the app. I didn’t know he didn’t have it and he had to download it in front of you.” Adrian explains. “It’s my fault for thinking he had a brain.”

Theo sputters and they all start talking about some test score that Theo got last year that supposedly proves he’s smart enough to attend college. It’s funny, but weird, joking and drinking with teenagers and talking about high school. Deran’s mostly quiet at Adrian’s side, smoking a cigarette like always but he doesn’t act bored and tells Craig ‘no’ when he comes by to offer party favors in the kitchen. Tamara is hilarious, smart and has no time for their bullshit and Adrian wants her hanging out at the shop. He’ll tell Theo to bring her by, that is if he can keep her as a girlfriend for longer than a week at a time. 

**

It’s starting to get bright again by the time the party winds down, and Deran kicks out the random couple sleeping in his old bedroom. He and Adrian tumble down onto the mattress, which is narrower than the bed at Deran’s house, but still much more comfortable than what Adrian has at Chad’s place.

“Hey, you know how we met?” Deran says just as Adrian’s about to drift off, not having bothered with taking his clothes off, his mouth tasting like death warmed over.

“Sure.” Adrian mumbles into the pillow.

“Uh, I mean, on Grindr? Do you still have it?”

“Nah,” Adrian yawns, “I got rid of that months ago. Before we argued ‘cos you fucked off to Mexico with Craig without telling me and came back all Alpha male asshole.”

“Oh.” 

There’s enough shuffling around on the bed to annoy Adrian into opening an eye, “Lie still.”

Deran’s trying to get something out of his pocket, eventually managing to pull put his phone. With the way he angles it, Adrian can see the screen clearly. He clicks his way to settings and scrolls down. He selects Grindr, then delete. When the display says that the uninstallation was success, he puts the phone away. He turns on his side and watches Adrian carefully.

Adrian’s heart is full of love and happiness and he knows he did the right thing, sticking by Deran. Sure, Deran is all over the place at times, still clams up about a lot of things and can be a giant jerk, but he’s also an incredibly caring provider who frets about Adrian’s eating habits and is very good at reading Adrian’s body language.

“You’re so romantic.” Adrian mumbles, clumsily curling closer to Deran, sliding his arm around his waist. “You’re definitely getting laid tomorrow. By me.”

Deran chuckles, “Now that’s romance.” He kisses Adrian’s head.

“Heck yeah, it is.” Adrian agrees before finally succumbing to unconsciousness. 

** 

Christmas is spent with his mother and Jess and her kids. It’s kind of depressing, but they have good moments too, like the kids opening up their gifts. Adrian gets a book and a year’s paid subscription to Spotify. It’s a pretty good haul and it puts Adrian in a better mood than he’s been in since he drove his car onto the I-5 to San Diego. 

Deran’s in Hawaii with his brothers, surfing, drinking and probably acting like a fool. If it was just Craig with him, Adrian might worry that things would get out of hand, but he’s met Pope enough times now to know he’ll keep the younger two from completely messing things up. J is apparently not on the trip, Deran muttering about him and Pope having trust issues and it being easier going without J. Adrian doesn’t ask for an explanation because if there’s one thing he’s realized while being with Deran, it’s that there’s no point in analyzing the Cody family dynamics.

Deran calls on Christmas Day, and it’s awkward and stilted. It’s not what they do, taking time to mark special days. Adrian doesn’t know when their anniversary will be, and doesn’t really care. He just wants them to acknowledge that there’s something between them, a bond that’s just for them and that means something, he doesn’t care one way or the other about celebrating it. When it’s clear they’re not sure how to carry on a conversation about Adrian’s gift exchange or Deran’s surfing, Adrian suggests phone sex and Deran takes him up on it. 

The best gift he gets all week are the nude pics Deran sends of him on the beach, slack dick on full display. Adrian hopes to all the powers in the universe that Deran used the delayed photo option on his phone and didn’t get one of his brothers to take the shots. He tells his mom and Jess about Deran, says he’s in love with a really great guy who has issues out the wazoo but is so worth it. They’re not as convinced but seem happy that he’s found someone. 

**

The Drop is open on New Year’s Eve and it’s a chaotic mess. Deran spends most of the night angry, stressed, and yelling at people for being ungrateful assholes. The last one is mostly down to Craig having told all his friends, and there’s a lot of them, that they’ll get free drinks until midnight. Deran disagreed and they’ve been at it like mad since setting the place up in the afternoon. Adrian quickly decided to stay out of their brotherly spat, but he does help Deran and his bartenders out that night by collecting empty bottles, cleaning the bathroom every hour and serving food to the poor souls that order it. Deran doesn’t acknowledge any of it but Adrian knows he’s just attempting to not lose his shit and close the bar before midnight. 

In between helping out, he sits with Renn, Craig and J. Whatever J felt about not coming to Hawaii with the others, he seems fine drinking and smoking up with them. He keeps goading Randy into dumber and dumber bets, things Adrian laughs at even though he knows he shouldn’t. They sit out by the fire pits but crowd their way into the bar proper when the countdown starts. Adrian doesn’t see Deran anywhere, but there’s never been as many people in the bar before so he’s probably somewhere toasting and taking a shot for the new year. 

Deran finds him ten minutes later, pulls Adrian into the office and sucks him off like a champ. Adrian’s drunker and higher than he wants to admit and smiles dopily when Deran tucks him back in. 

“Happy New Year, Deran.”

“You too, man.”

**

The hangover the next day is a bitch, Adrian moping around Deran’s house. He moves between the bed, the bathroom and the deck. The bed is nice and soft and lets him lie down, but the deck has fresh air and sun. He moans about it to Deran.

“Why aren’t you hungover too?”

Deran crushes his cigarette against the plate he uses as an ashtray, “Because I didn’t try to keep up with Craig, and because I was working all night.”

“I worked too.” Adrian mumbles, pulling the hood of Deran’s hoodie up over his head. It’s a bit tight over his shoulders, but he likes that Deran offered it to him when they headed out on the deck. It’s not like he was going to turn it down. 

“Yeah, uh, thanks. I know that that wasn’t your plan for the night.”

Adrian lets his head fall to the side so he can look at Deran without too much effort. “I don’t care about that. Of course I was gonna help you out, the place was packed. You made a lot of money, right?”

Deran nods, “You want a cut?”

With a laugh, Adrian says, “Yes, I’m that desperate for cash. Nah, you can pay me back in other ways.”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

“I would. Later, when I don’t feel like shit on a stick.” Adrian takes a deep breath. “I’m gonna head back to bed. I wish I had my book here.”

“What book?” Deran follows him with his eyes as Adrian stands up, stretches to his full height before quickly folding in on himself again.

“Just the book I’m reading. I’ve got it at Chad’s.”

Deran gets up too, follows Adrian inside, “Why?”

“I’m not gonna fall asleep for a while, but I’m too tired to follow along with a TV show. It’d be nice to read.”

“No, I mean, why didn’t you bring it here?”

Adrian looks at him in confusion, “’Cos when I’m here we usually fuck? Or hang out? We’re not really boyfriends who lie in bed reading.”

Deran doesn’t say anything but five minutes later he’s tossing a surfing magazine at Adrian and climbs into bed beside him with his own beer magazine. 

They don’t get around to screwing until much later that day when they’ve both showered again and Deran’s made super greasy bacon and eggs with salsa and mayo. Adrian’s minding his own business on the couch, scrolling through Instagram and leaving likes on people’s party pics from the previous night, when Deran comes to sit next to him. Deran puts his hand on the back of Adrian’s neck and plays with the hair there. Adrian’s thinking about letting it grow longer than he’s had it in the past year. 

Deran shuffles closer, uses his hand to guide Adrian’s head towards him. Adrian puts the phone away, turns to his lover. Deran’s intense eyes, blue color stark in the dim light, are heavy on Adrian’s face. 

“Thanks for having my back last night.”

“No problem.” Adrian leans in just as Deran puts his other hand on Adrian’s cheek. It might be their best kiss yet, the feeling behind it clearly explained, both of them knowing it’s about so much more than just last night. Deran kisses him slowly, steadily. Adrian squeezes at Deran’s waist, but doesn’t make the touch hungry, or hurrying. He’ll let Deran steer them this time, apparently in need of something different than usual.

They make out on the couch for long minutes, knees knocking and hands bumping. It’s nice, just kissing without being hurried. It’s also nice to be pressed down, for Deran to start kissing his neck and throat, to get his hands on those broad shoulders.

“No, fuck, wait. Bed.” Deran pulls away, looks at Adrian like he hates himself for stopping, but still pushes himself off the couch.

“What?” Adrian’s cock is getting fuller and he’s not used to Deran stopping things.

Deran pulls off the tank top he’s wearing, starts undoing his fly, “I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna get naked and hang out on the bed.”

Adrian laughs, seeing the frisky invitation clear as day on Deran’s face. With a huff, he gets up and lunges at Deran. They playfully wrestle their way to the bedroom, leaving clothes and common sense behind. 

It’s good, so good. Deran lies on top of him, lining their dicks up and setting a slow pace. Adrian can see Deran’s perfect ass over his shoulder, the way his cheeks flex when he grinds against Adrian’s body. He’s got his hands on Adrian’s face and neck, kissing him over and over again. Adrian can’t really do much except lie back and let Deran, well, adore him. It’s not like when they’re rough and Deran takes what he wants from Adrian’s willing body, or when Adrian goads him into using his body. The way Deran is touching him now is loving, almost reverent. It does things to Adrian’s heart, mind and cock. Maybe slow and sweet sex can be good too, when it’s with the right guy.

Deran pulls away to grab the lube and condoms from their usual place on the nightstand, next to yet another ashtray. He presses them both into Adrian’s hand, “Here.”

“Want me to prep myself?” Adrian wonders, because he was kind of looking forward to Deran fingering him open slow and easy.

“You, uh, could do me.” Deran mumbles.

“Lube you up?”

“I meant, you could…” Deran stares at a spot on Adrian’s chest, “Uhm, do me. You know.”

Adrian frowns, takes in Deran’s embarrassed demeanor. Deran has never been embarrassed about their sex life before. “Oooh. Have you done that before?”

“Yeah. Couple of times. But not. Not in a long time.”

Putting a gentle hand at Deran’s bearded jaw, Adrian tries to get their gazes to meet but it only works to a point, Deran’s eyes flicking back and forth. “You really don’t have to. I’m fine with the way things are. I like your dick in my ass.”

Deran snorts, “All class.”

Adrian laughs, “That’s me. But I’m serious. We don’t have to do it like that if you don’t want to.”

“I want to.” Deran insists, finally meeting Adrian’s eyes for longer than a second. He sits up on top of Adrian, thighs spreading across Adrian’s lower body. “With you, I want that.”

“Fuck, you really are so fucking romantic.” Adrian grabs the lube, “Alright, want me to prep you or wanna do it yourself?”

Deran blunders his way off of Adrian, shifts around to get situated on the bed, “All yours, dude.”

Adrian uses way more lube than he himself prefers when he’s being fucked. If Deran hasn’t done this in however long, and he hasn’t even hinted that it might be a possibility before, they’re both better off with Adrian making sure Deran is loose and lubed before he tries to enter him. 

Deran tenses at the first finger, so Adrian spends some time sucking on his balls and distracting him, hands massaging and teasing Deran’s ass. It works, and soon enough Adrian has three fingers in to the knuckles, Deran panting and swearing. His channel is tight and warm around Adrian’s digits. Adrian finds it hard to concentrate on making it good for Deran like he wants to, because his dick is pounding and all he wants is to fuck Deran hard. 

At some point when Adrian doesn’t know whether to keep prepping Deran or not, Deran decides enough is enough and shoves at Adrian, holds him down while he clambers on top of him and rolls a condom on Adrian’s dick.

“Fuck, D…” Adrian grabs Deran’s arm, grip tight. 

“Don’t go easy on me.” Deran’s eyes are blown wide, the usually bright blue replaced by dark desire. 

Deran holds Adrian in place as he slowly works himself down on his cock. It’s clear they both wish they could go faster, both of them having a hard time not moving too fast. Deran has to pull off several times, face pinched before he gets most of Adrian inside. 

“You sure you can take it?” Adrian means to ask it out of care, worried he might hurt the other man. 

“What, you think your dick is too big for me?” Deran shoves himself down just a little further. “I’ve got some bad news for you, pal.”

Adrian decides to be a jerk and slams up into Deran, grinning when it makes Deran groan. It keeps going like that, little taunts and challenges, their bodies flexing and thrusting against each other. It’s hot as hell, Deran’s sweaty thighs squeezing his sides and his hole tight around Adrian’s dick. He’s good at taking dick like this too, has a couple of moves that make Adrian cry out and kick his legs out. 

Adrian comes first, his hands sliding over Deran’s ass, feeling where he’s thrusting up into him. He can’t believe he gets to fuck Deran. He comes really fucking hard, and is kind of out of it for a moment. Deran shuffles up Adrian’s chest, kneels above him as he jerks off. His come lands on Adrian’s face and usually Adrian doesn’t like that, but he’ll let it go this time because Deran is fucking awesome. 

**

They decide to keep Deran’s bottoming for when they wanna mix things up, both of them agreeing it was good but they prefer their usual positions. They end up having a much franker conversation about sexual inclinations than they’ve had so far. Deran has no problem with Adrian not liking being tied up, and Adrian can live without toys if Deran doesn’t want them. 

Over the next couple of months, Deran starts bringing Adrian with him when he meets his brothers for meals, and if Adrian had any hesitation about food being about family for Deran, it’s quickly erased by how the brothers fill the table with condiments, salad and bread next to whatever impressive meal Pope or Deran cooks. None of the other Codys bring partners with them, Craig on the outs with Renn again. Adrian decides against asking Pope and J about their love lives. 

A constant topic between the brothers is their mother’s will and the properties they own across Oceanside and Carlsbad. Adrian learns that Deran actually owns a couple of buildings, and figures out that that’s where he disappears to sometimes, taking care of landlord and maintenance stuff. When he asks about it, Deran deflects by saying J handles most of it for a small cut.

Adrian doesn’t have as many secrets to reveal, no unknown income or family drama other than his dad being a prick and Jess getting pregnant by the exact same type. Liking assholes must be in the Dolan blood.

He wakes up from a nap one day, and hears voices in the kitchen. He wanders out to see J handing over a huge wad of cash to Deran. They both look surprised to see him. 

“Uh, hey. I didn’t realize you were home yet.” Deran says, taking the cash and throwing it into a drawer.

“I was just dropping off the rent from the people that insist on paying cash.” J explains. He gives Deran a look, “Stellar scoping out of the near vicinity as usual.”

“Hey.” Deran snaps, giving J a wild look. J gives him an equally wild look back. 

“You wanna stay for dinner?” Adrian asks to break the tension.

“No!” Both Deran and J quickly exclaim. 

J starts for the front door, “I was just making a quick stop. Think about what I said ‘bout next week.”

Deran nods, eyes following J until the door’s closed behind him. With J gone, Deran’s whole posture changes from rigid and cagey to slumped and exhausted. 

Adrian scratches the stubble he’s got going. “Uhm, Neve wants the weekend off for some concert, so she’s covering for me today and tomorrow. I got us some herb from Randy, if you wanna light up.”

“Sure.” Deran fidgets. “Uhm, about…”

“It’s fine, Deran.” Adrian says, having a seat on the couch, “I know you have more money than you tell me. You and your family have all kinds of cool cars and houses and shit. I said I wanted us to be equals but that doesn’t mean you have to hide shit from me.”

Deran flinches like he’s been slapped. 

“I can handle you having more money than me. As long as you don’t think I’m gonna let you pay for everything.” Adrian looks over at Deran. “I may have less money than you, but I have my expenses covered.”

Deran folds his hair back behind his ear. He pulls a cigarette out of nowhere and lights it with his ever-present lighter. “You’d have more if you stopped paying rent.”

Adrian scoffs, “I should, considering I’m never there.”

Deran sucks angrily on his cigarette. Adrian ignores him while he gets the baggy out, finds the rolling paper in the little wooden box Deran has near the couch. He’s never been good at rolling joints but he does it well enough for himself. Deran will just have to deal since he hasn’t budged from his spot in the kitchen. 

“So why do you? Keep the room at Chad’s.” Deran asks, biting the words out. 

“Because I have to keep my shit somewhere?” Adrian asks rhetorically. He puts the bag and paper down. “Are you saying I could keep it here?”

“Not keep it here.” Deran says. “It could be here, with you.”

“Oh.” Adrian leans back in his seat. “I mean… I guess I do spend all my time here…”

Deran pushes off the counter, stubs the already gone cigarette out in the ashtray on the dining table and sits down next to Adrian. “I figured I wouldn’t have to mention it if I waited long enough. But you’re very stupid sometimes.”

Adrian laughs, “So are you. How long have you been waiting?”

Deran shrugs, “A while.”

That means it’s probably longer than ‘a while’. On the one hand, it makes complete sense. Adrian can’t remember the last night he spent at Chad’s, staying at the beach house even when Deran’s gone overnight. He has extra toiletries here, some clothes. Even his bloody book is here now, after Deran asked about it again. He thinks they’re at a great point in their relationship. Deran seems to really enjoy hearing Adrian’s stupid gossip about Theo and Tamara, supports him when his sister calls to tell him the latest from San Diego. He knows he’s somehow managed to become a calming influence in Deran’s life, something that he’s proud of and happy about. 

They complement each other pretty damn well but are they ready for this step? They’re not arguing as much anymore, and Deran is less prone to mood swings these days. But if they live together they won’t have anywhere to get a breather from each other, and will probably get on each other’s nerves. It’d suck if they’d start yelling at each other again. 

When things started getting serious between them, Adrian kept waiting for Deran to realize he didn’t want a relationship, but nowadays he doesn’t doubt that Deran wants to be with him. He thinks Deran has the same strong feelings for him as Adrian does for Deran, maybe even more intense ones. He suspects that Deran loves with all his heart, body, and soul, hell, he loves with his whole _life_. Adrian doesn’t know if he deserves that kind of love yet. 

“Let me think about it, okay?” Adrian says eventually.

Deran gets that dejected look on his face, the one that makes it seem like he’s lost his will to fight and can’t understand why the world wants only bad things for him. His hair falls forward and obscures his face. 

Adrian runs his hand over Deran’s hair, folds it back behind his ear. It’s only getting longer, drops down past his shoulders now. Adrian crowds in close, thigh resting against Deran’s. “It’s good that you stopped waiting and talked to me instead.”

“Would’ve been waiting for years with the way you take a hint.” Deran mutters. He leans across Adrian and grabs the half-rolled joint, “What the hell are you doing with this?”

**

The evening is a little weird after that, and Deran excuses himself after dinner, says he needs to run some numbers at the bar. Adrian thinks it’s more likely he’s freaking out and needs time alone, but he’s kind of in the same boat so he doesn’t mind Deran taking off. 

When he comes back it’s past midnight and Adrian’s waiting for him in bed, watching an old show on his phone. 

“You said we couldn’t do anal last night ‘cos you needed to clean your ass. Did you?” Deran asks as he starts undressing. 

“Yeah, I took care of it. Do your worst.”

Deran does his best instead, being very attentive of every request Adrian has, ones that are spoken out loud and ones that his body give away by shiver and sigh. He folds Adrian’s knees back, puts a pillow under his ass to make it easier. He holds himself up on two shaking arms, biceps trembling. His gaze is intense on Adrian’s face, like he wants to see every miniscule shiver and flinch of Adrian’s muscles as he fucks into him as roughly as Adrian likes.

When they’re done, Deran cuddles up next to Adrian, puts his head and arm on Adrian’s chest. They talk nonsense quietly for a few minutes while hands stroke across warm skin with no real plan. 

_ I want this _ , Adrian thinks to himself as he drifts off to sleep.

**

Deran’s smoking in bed, again, when Adrian wakes the next morning. 

“Didn’t you say Craig burned down his old place ‘cos he left a burning joint on the couch? Aren’t you ever scared you’re gonna burn down your house?” Adrian yawns.

“The fundamental difference between me and Craig is that I’m not an idiot.” Deran says, barely comprehensible as he talks around the cigarette. “I don’t smoke when I’m about to sleep. That’s just stupid.”

“Fair enough.” Adrian says, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He takes Deran in, his tattoos on display where he’s sitting naked up against the headrest, hair sticking to his neck, sheet barely covering his groin. Adrian frowns. There’s something strained about Deran’s deceptively relaxed stance.

“Uhm, what we talked about last night.” Deran starts. “About keeping secrets, and you moving in.”

“Yeah.”

“There’s something… If you’re gonna live here, there’s something you should know. About me. Before you decide.”

Adrian waits for the obvious explanation that should follow that statement, but Deran doesn’t say anything. He sits up, folds his legs into a cobbler’s pose. “Deran?”

Deran scratches his head with one hand, puts out the cigarette with the other. “Shit, okay. If I tell you, it could put you in danger. But you not knowing, that’s gonna fuck us up.”

He’s on the brink of asking what danger Deran is talking about, but Deran looks both petrified and determined, and his eyes are surprisingly hard and cold, like he’s distancing himself from the conversation. Adrian settles for a nod of his head and says, “Okay.”

“But you cannot tell anyone, ever, that I’ve told you this.” Deran reaches out suddenly, hand squeezing Adrian’s knee. “Do you understand?”

Adrian swallows. Deran’s acting like he did when they met a year ago. He thought that Deran was gone.

“Do you understand?” Deran says, voice made of steel.

“Yes.” Adrian says, steady and firm.

Deran falls silent again, obviously wrestling with whatever it is he wants Adrian to know about him. 

“Deran.” Adrian puts his hand on Deran’s. “I can handle it. Whatever it is, I can handle it.”

“Remember I said my mother made her money in the real estate business?” Deran moves back, folds his arms over his bent legs.

“Sure.” Adrian doesn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t that.

Deran scratches at his neck. His voice is low and monotone as he speaks, “There’s a detective that thinks she made it illegally. That she spent years… doing criminal things. And now that she’s dead, he thinks that the family is still doing it.”

“Family? As in you and your brothers?”

“And J.” Deran clarifies.

“Huh.” Adrian stares at the wall behind Deran. “What kind of illegal activities?”

“Robberies. Banks, car dealerships, jewelry stores…” Deran hunches in on himself, closes his eyes like it hurts to put the words out into the open. He may be saying that this is what the police thinks about him, but he’s only saying it because there’s a reason the police thinks it. There’s a reason why Deran hasn’t told him this before. A reason why the Codys all disappear at the strangest times, why they sometimes get tense and angry around each other, why they are so injury prone. 

“Fucking hell, Deran.”

“I just wanted to be someone that you could be with. Someone you could like. I swear to you, the bar is legit. I am legit.” Deran turns his head towards him, silent tears on his cheek. “But sometimes, I need to… deal with things. That I can’t tell you about.”

Adrian looks at the man in front of him. Sees both the young teen he never met but who struggled to accept himself and to get the respect of his family, as well as the man Deran is now, the man who is trying to live the life he wants while still stuck in the one his family has given him. Adrian has never known anyone who is as torn as Deran is. It’s not until now, with the cards on the table and Deran split open in front of him, that Adrian realizes the inner chaos that Deran must go through every day. It’s no wonder he smokes a pack a day and has a temper. Adrian thought the Codys were just an intense bunch, but throw bank robberies into it…

“Adrian? Say something.”

His eyes focus back on Deran. Deran looks so scared, like he’s ready to be cut to shreds. Adrian hopes he manages an encouraging smile. “I need to process. I’m not mad. I mean, maybe I am, but not at you, just… the situation.”

Deran laugh humorlessly, “Yeah, sure.”

“You trusted me enough to tell me. So trust me on this too.” 

“I do.” Deran whispers. “But my family doesn’t. No matter what you decide, they can never know I told you, not even Craig.”

“They won’t hear it from me.” Adrian promises. He crawls on his knees over to Deran, makes the other man unfold his arms and legs, presses himself on top of him and kisses him hard. When he pulls back, Deran’s looking up at him in wonder. Adrian smiles at him, “Wanna hit the waves?”

“I’m wearing my fucking shorts this time.” Deran grumbles.

Adrian laughs, “Not my fault you gave ‘em to me.”

“I borrowed them to you ‘cos you didn’t have any shorts here. You have plenty of your own clothes here now.” Deran says, climbing out of bed after Adrian. 

“Hmm. Good point. Maybe I should give my clothes to goodwill before I move in. It’ll save us two moving boxes at least.” 

Deran scoffs, “They’ll never accept the trash you walk around in.”

Adrian laughs, “Oh, so that’s why you’re always in a rush to get my clothes off.”

**

The next weekend they get Deran’s van and drive down to San Diego to pick up the things Adrian’s had stored at his sister’s place for the past year. Adrian’s already cleaned out his room at Chad’s, did that a few days after Deran asked him to move in. He doesn’t have a lot of stuff, due to spending so much time on the tour, then being in college and never having had a real place of his own. There’s still enough boxes to fill up half the van, and Adrian is stoked to get his mountain bike back, as well as the Xbox console. Deran and Jess don’t hit it off at all, despite Deran putting on a bit of a show, being charming and nice, and not his usual grumpy asshole self. Adrian’s mom is more smitten, as are Jess’s kids, which is funny because Deran flounders in their presence, like children physically confuse him. 

They get back late and dump the boxes in the living room. It takes Adrian a couple of weeks to unpack them all, and a few months for them to agree on where to keep it all. For all that Deran has no interest in interior design, Adrian notices that his travel photos change places overnight and that the towels with beach names on them from all over the world don’t make it into rotation, but are used to wipe sand and dirt off the deck. But Deran does happily buy another chest of drawers and a bigger mirror and gets more plates and cutlery for the kitchen. He puts Adrian’s one and only QS trophy on triumphant display in the middle of his own collection of trophies, the one that changed houses after the Thanksgiving party. Deran really does want it to be their home together and he shows it in all the best ways.

**

Coming to terms with having a boyfriend who is, apparently, a lifelong criminal, is surprisingly easy for Adrian. At first he thought he was going to be more apprehensive about it, but he realized he loves and accepts Deran for who he is, and if that means he loves a criminal, then so be it. It’s not like his own arrest sheet is completely clean, though egging houses and throwing rocks at car windows is hardly up there with robbery.

Adrian does ask for a few more details, hypothetical situations and consequences. Deran humors him as much as he can, reiterating that any supposed crime would be carefully planned to occur with as few people as possible around in order to avoid violence and accidents. Sometimes though, it can’t be helped, and that’s the part Adrian struggles with the most. Deran’s shockingly supportive through the whole thing, telling him it’s okay to have doubts and to let Deran know if he thinks he’s changed his mind about them living together. 

Craig, Pope and J come over one day for beers on the deck, and they all joke about Deran settling down and always having been the most put-together one of them all. It’s hard to think of them as hardened criminals, when they laugh and ask Adrian exactly how good Deran is in bed since there’s no other reason Adrian could want to move in. Deran shares a private smile with him, and Adrian reckons they’ll be alright in the end. 

**

After a few weeks of living together, Adrian realizes something more annoying than Deran being a robber. He figures out he’s having trouble sleeping because he can’t sleep properly until Deran is home. Usually Deran comes home between midnight and three o’clock and spends time in the bathroom before climbing into bed. If he notices Adrian is awake, he’ll sometimes start feeling him up, and Adrian doesn’t mind that at all. It’s the times Deran spends in the kitchen, stress-baking pies and cupcakes that worry him, or the time that Adrian ambled out at five in the morning to find a mountain of peeled potatoes. 

“I think it’s ‘cos I worry you’re on a job with the guys, and I don’t know about it so if something happens, I won’t know until they bother to tell me. It could be days where I don’t know if something’s wrong with you.” Adrian says one morning at the beach. He’d gone down on his own before Deran woke up, unable to go back to sleep even though he really needed to. Deran had wandered down the sand at some point, sat down and watched Adrian out on the choppy water. 

Deran sighs, “You know I can’t tell you.”

“I know. But you can tell me if you’re gonna be at the bar or with the guys. You can give me that much.”

After a short stare-off, Deran nods, “Fine.”

“You can also be honest about the guns you keep at the house.”

Deran’s jaw drops.

“I was looking for pepper in the kitchen the other day. Guess what I found in the herb cabinet. Are there others?”

Deran nods, looks a little embarrassed. 

Adrian sighs, looks out over the ocean, “Tell me where they are. I can’t walk around randomly finding guns in my own home.”

“Yeah, okay.” Deran agrees. He’s quiet for a moment, joins Adrian in looking at the horizon. “I want to be honest with you. It’s just hard. I’ve never had anyone like you in my life before. Someone who cares about me, and not the fact that I’m a Cody. You gotta cut me some slack.”

“I am. I am letting so much shit go with you, you don’t even know.” Adrian says frankly. “But at some point you gotta let me know that that’s it, that’s the last of the reveals. ‘Cos it seems like you always have a new one waiting.”

Deran puts his head on Adrian’s shoulder, “I’m thinking about cutting my hair short.”

Adrian startles into an ugly laugh, “Okay, wow, now that might be a deal breaker.” He tugs on the messy pony tail Deran’s got his hair in. “Nah, man, it’d be kind of cool to see you in short hair. I think I’d like it.”

**

It’s six months or so later that Adrian’s woken up one night by the sound of the shower running. He chases sleep for a few seconds but gives up when he notices what time it is. He slides out from under the duvet, groggily making his way to the bathroom. 

The lights are off, but the moon and streetlights shining in through the windows are enough for him to see Deran under the spray of the shower. 

“You just get in?” Adrian asks. 

Deran turns his head, looks at Adrian with something empty in his eyes, something Adrian doesn’t quite like. He turns the water off, steps out but doesn’t grab a towel. “I texted a couple of hours back. Something came up, I had to work with the boys tonight.”

Adrian goes rigid. He’d fallen asleep early in front of the TV and barely made it to the bed when he’d realized where he was. 

“J was injured.” Deran speaks up. “I have the best first aid knowledge.”

“Really? You?”

“Don’t act so surprised. What the fuck is that?” Deran crosses his arms, only accentuating the fact that he’s naked, his biceps flexing a little. “You’re the one going on about my pride or whatever.”

Adrian lets out a bark of laughter, “Oh man, so not what I meant. Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’ll live.”

Having had enough of Deran’s mood, Adrian grabs a towel and walks over to put it around the other man. “Do you need an alibi?”

Deran looks at him. 

“Listen to me.” Adrian has his hands on Deran’s waist. “Do you need an alibi for tonight?”

Deran nods, looking torn but finally showing some emotion again. 

“Okay. So when you left the bar you went home to me. We heated up that zucchini and rice thing you made the other day, we talked about taking a trip, then we made out on the couch for a while before cracking open some beers and watching _Murder, She Wrote_.”

“I can’t believe you watch that show. It’s ancient.” Deran’s definitely coming back to himself, taking the towel and rubbing himself somewhat dry. 

“It’s relaxing! They’re all so nice and the hints are super obvious and in the end they all laugh.”

“’Cept the ones that are dead.”

“Yeah, well, that’s what I did tonight, so it’s what you did too. Luckily for you, I’ve got the episode TiVo’d and we can watch it again so you’ll know the story if you get questioned about it.”

“Wow. You’ve really got this alibi thing down pat, I’m impressed.” Deran deadpans.

“I watch a lot of _Murder, She Wrote_, I know what the deal is.”

Deran shakes his head, drops the towel to the floor so he can put his hands on Adrian’s neck, “How am I into you?”

“It’s my ass.” Adrian grins, stepping in closer to push their groins together. “And my dick.”

“Oh yeah. Those are nice.” Deran agrees, smiling into a playful kiss. 

They don’t get around to watching the episode until the following day, choosing blowjobs and sleep instead. Adrian thinks he’ll always choose Deran over anything else, he does love him unconditionally after all. 


End file.
